she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
