THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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