Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
