I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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