CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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