We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize