Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize