Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
