I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
