dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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