All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
