chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
