thus making me awesome and them whores
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
