That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
