It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
