how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
