i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
