yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
