I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
