How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
