I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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