Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
