the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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