Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
