I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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