and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
