all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
