i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize