as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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