yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
