Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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