Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
