The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
