Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
