And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
