I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
