I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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