Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize