ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
