just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
