I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
