I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
