So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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