someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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