mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
