Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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