why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
