is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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