I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize