hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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