Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
