i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
