Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
