coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
