Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize