Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize