Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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